An Experiment

My art reveals itself in many forms – running, food, software. Unusual ideas in most realms for sure. Within traditional ideas of art, my most eloquent form is writing. That which you are reading now, and may return to again and again, or not.

They say much of the world’s great art, whether it’s painting or writing, comes from the immeasurable moods, particularly the depressive ones, of the artist. Hemingway, Van Gogh, and others. To find your depth of humanity and connection to the rest of earthly bipeds within the dark shadows is a feat unto itself. We’ve all been there, but most of us ignore it, or even moreso escape it – drugs, alcohol, or any number of methods.

From my frame of mind, it’s amazing to me that this dark place can draw so much into existence on a canvas, whether expressed with sounds, colors, or words. While I don’t follow the path of distraction within those dark places, I don’t seem to know that place artists draw from.

Within my world, my best comes from a different place. It’s that same profound center of the soul we find, but sparked in light, in love.  The condition Rumi or Hafiz found themselves in when putting to voice, and word, a richness of the beauty of life.

This piece is an experiment in that. When I write, it’s from a place of clarity and inspiration. An idea percolated over time, and then expressed in a flow. I’m not in that place – I’m lost in another terrain. One of swirling energies, streaks of color flowing across my being. Up and down my spine, big whooshes through my heart, charges of power in my belly, tingles circling the groin – streaking to another. A coincidence of momentum and reflection shared with a partner miles away. Focus and clarity are nowhere to be found.

If Van Gogh could paint within his misery and Rumi could write in his ecstasy, could I do it? What would spring forth? Letting the inspiration and vitalities within and across space be the muse. What would it say?

The world is ablaze with wonder. A roaring sunrise, trees raining abundance, animals inspiring curiosity – and connections of all kinds breathing us. A steady flow of in and out, like air into the lungs. Into the soul and heart and body, circulating like the oceans within us. Rolling about, waves caressing here and there, or crashing into walls. Then like a great release, it all changes again, moving outward.

We only need to be aware. Feeling with our amazing senses that guide us in this world. Letting each sensation blossom, revealing itself as another follows after. Opening to be seen. Even more is to tune into another set of energies. Subtle energies. The seven discs that spin and connect. Nerve flows and rhythms of their own. Kundalini dynamics. The rise and fall of each breath and all its nuances. Goosebumps and tingles seemingly from another world. And more.

Beyond our own being is the richness of the connection between beings. Friends, lovers, family. The animals we hold dear. Plants that offer us shade, others that provide nourishment or medicine, some grace us with their beauty. So many ways to bond. The combinatorics grow quickly, revealing its own menu of possibility to feel. Not just to feel – to revel in. To discover bliss and joy.

The threads to a lover are of another style and form. Imagine two suns shining on each other. So many hues and flavors. An ecstatic reverie gales the body and heart and more. Harmonies find each other as they are meant to. Synchronistic waves entrain upon each other. Each being magnifying arriving life before mirroring and returning them, heightening body bliss – leaving the mind, thoughts, and focus elsewhere, maybe to return at another time.

Awareness. Sensitivity. Gifts everyone has, but few truly enjoy at this realm. Practice, listen, look, observe, feel. There’s more to this world than meets the senses!

An experiment. Revealing in its own. A muse of the self of the world reflecting back for all. Praise be to the artists who thrive from the dark. For my side, I’ll dive into the dark wholly. Then return and rise to share the grace and beauty of effortless imaginations of divine realms.

 

Men: Learn How to Touch

They say a woman will know a lot about a potential partner from the first kiss. Maybe it’s true, maybe not, I won’t argue over a few moments to predict the future. In a similar way, I would posture the idea that a woman will absolutely know what intimate relationships and sex might be like from how you touch her.

 

How you ever been in a group where you’re given the instruction to do a massage circle? You know – stand in a circle, turn to the right, put your hands on the shoulders of the person in front of you, and begin massaging. At the onset there is great anticipation and potential delight for being touched and massaged.

 

And then the person behind you begins. You feel their fingers digging it to odd places. You think – what the hell are they doing? Or maybe they barely make it through your clothing and you are bored with the massage circle, waiting for when the instruction is given to turn the other way and hope the other person knows what they are doing.

 

Then one day in one of those circles, it’s just right. The right pressure, the right spot, the right movement and you’ve let go, almost forgetting that you’re supposed to be massing the person in front of you.

 

It’s like Goldilocks and the porridge – not too hot, not too cold, but JUST right!

 

Touch is absolutely that way, and learning how to touch in that way will change your world of touch, for you and your partner.

 

To backtrack for a bit, this article was inspired by this story:

 

Karla – not her real name to protect the innocent (though she’s not that innocent :) - and I had a developing friendship. Our energies matched well so the potential for a deeper, more intimate relationship was there. Yet timing and spirit and guides were speaking this wasn’t the time. We both needed a vacation so we took a trip together. With each of us being comfortable with the other, we slept together and cuddled enjoying touch and presence and energy. I am very fond of touch – giving and receiving – so one morning I began gently massaging Karla. There was no intention towards anything more. Yet, the touch was received deliciously and naturally grew to some amazing love making.

 

I was convinced that because of the quality of my touch, Karla became open to more. Indeed after sharing with Karla, she said that was definitely true. Looking back at past relationships, I’m would believe that’s true with many women, the qualities of my touch and how I touch made a big difference in our interactions.

 

These ideas here come with my background as being trained as a massage therapist. In that training I received hundreds of hours of instruction; I’ve also received hundreds of hours of bodywork. It’s from this I draw knowledge for putting this into practice anytime I touch someone, whether it’s for bodywork, or a massage circle, or intimate touch with a partner.

 

Just right – what does that mean? First, just right is about what’s right for the person receiving, NOT what you like. If you’re a big muscled man, getting into those muscles most likely means elbows and lots of pressure. Imagine doing that with a small woman, like a gymnast. She’s going to jump up and be gone.

 

This is the key – just right. You can do it, so let me explain how to get there.

 

First, get out of your head. To say it another way – stop thinking. Your brain isn’t going to know what the other person likes or wants at all. You could ask, but asking every step of the way would be annoying for both of you. Asking can be a start, but mostly you have to listen and feel. When you listen and feel (and stop using your brain), you become present to the moment, to the person. It’s somewhat like meditating, or being ‘in the zone’ in sports, or being entirely engrossed in a hobby or a job. You are just there in it, with it. Start there.

 

Now place your hands on someone – maybe a partner, maybe a friend to practice with. Just feel their body, feel the skin, feel the muscles under the skin, feel the bones and jones. Explore slowly is another way to think about this. One way to start is to ask in your mind to this body, ‘what would you like to feel here?’ You might get an answer – just a caress, or a strong thumb. Your hands and body might just starting moving in response.

 

Other way is to gently press, softly first. See how the body receiving likes it. Does it want more? Does it want less? Does it want you to move to another spot? Maybe that spot doesn’t like being touched. Follow with what you’re being told.

 

Try many different spots on the body. Try the arms, try the legs. Almost everyone likes hands and feet. Try the head and face, many people like ears.

 

The qualities that you are discovering are pressure or depth (how hard to press), speed (how fast/slow to move), and how much (use a finger, or a hand, or a whole arm).

 

Another form of ‘just right’ is what you like to give (not receive). If you like gently long caressed down the back, do it. Do it with intention and joy. It may not be something your partner likes the best, but they will like that you like it, and they will like that you are expressing yourself.

 

As you play with this notice how as you move from one part to another, each part way have its own desired touch. For example, if you’re touching a leg and there’s a big bruise there. If you’re pressing firmly into the quad muscles above it, you probably don’t want to press that firmly into the bruise. The person you’re massaging is going to jump and scream – and possibly return their own tough touch!

 

The idea that each part of the body wants and needs a different kind of touch is important. It’s part of the ‘just right’ idea. Just right for the legs is different from just right for the arms.

 

The whole process of touch is about ‘just right’ and being aware of what ‘just right’ is for this moment and this part of the body. And know as well that what’s ‘just right’ for right now at this spot may be different in ten minutes.

 

I would also highly recommend an introductory massage class. There are hundreds of massage schools around the country. Many will have introductory classes. These classes are for people who want to learn how to massage, and you will probably find many people who are considering massage for a career and want to learn more. These are a valuable starting point as well.

 

Or receive a massage. Visit several different people. Notice what they do, what techniques they use, how they use them, when they use them, how do they move. Experienced massage therapists and bodyworks will have a lot of tools, not all of which you should try to begin with.

 

When you are aware of that level, the people you are with, and since this is about men and relationships – your partner – will be much more comfortable with you and your attention to them. Enjoy your new skills and openness to touch!

 

Tensegrity - the Good Side of Stress

Such a fantastic word – Tensegrity. It’s a relatively new word in the English language coming into existence because of Buckminster Fuller less than 50 years ago. It is a combination of the words Tension and Integrity.

 

The formal definition from Merriam Webster is this: the property of a skeletal structure having continuous tension members (such as wires) and discontinuous compression members (such as metal tubes) so that each member performs efficiently in producing a rigid form.

 

The idea needs a picture first:

 

In this picture the purple rods represent the compression members from the definition and form part of the integrity; the wires are the tension members. Both parts are needed, if any part is missing the entire structure will collapse. The term started out began as a design concept for building and moved into the realm of architecture. There are dozens of structures around the world that incorporate this design.

 

This idea also moved into the realm of biology and the makeup of human biology and onto bodywork. You see, we as human bodies are also tensegrity structures. Our bones are the compression members (the solid pieces) and our muscles are the ‘wires’ or tension members. We are different from the static structures as well because we move. Tensegrity structures like the one pictured above can move, in a limited way, and the entire system holds together.

 

For us as humans to move we have parallel ‘wires’ or muscles around the bones. On the front side of the femur, the long bone at the top of our legs, are the quadriceps muscles and on the back are the hamstrings muscles. Similarly in the upper arm we have biceps on one side and triceps on the other side. There’s a similar pattern throughout the body, and more to account for all our different rotations and axes of movement.

 

For those muscles to work properly they need to be under stress, that is have a load on them. When you grab your favorite beer and bring it from the table to your mouth, you place a load on your biceps muscles. Without that bit of stress the muscles wouldn’t work. Under most normal circumstances, the muscles have a balanced amount of stress which keeps them static. When we start to move, one muscle has to activate and move direction, while the other muscle relaxes to facilitate the movement; and then it reverses.

 

Astronauts who go into space for extended periods of time know how important stress is, even the stress of gravity. After being in space, the muscles atrophy because they don’t need to be used in the same way. The bones also deteriorate as well because they don’t need to be used in the same way. The normal stress of gravity isn’t there so our structure built to work because of gravity changes and adapts.

 

If we didn’t do anything and were couch-potatoes a similar thing would happen, where muscles and bones would atrophy and become weak because they weren’t being used. So we walk and our normal things. And we exercise – which helps to support the muscles and feels good. Certainly pushing it too far and we tax the system too far.

 

So enjoy your muscles and bones and the wonder of the human body. And Bless that bit of Stress that’s needed to keep us as beautiful Tensegrity structures!