Letting Poetry Come

How to express in words

when so often

words can’t begin

to convey

truth

 

Poetry

and prose

are often revealers

 

Where the words

and the space between

have roles reversed

 

Words offering an insight

an invitation into

another world

 

The world of spaces

is

where real meaning

reveals itself

 

The next time words

fall flat

let poetry

be the guide

 

Write the invitation

let the rest

be felt

 

Edges, Yoga and The Unknown

 I am fascinated by edges, by what’s possible in this human form. How far can we push our bodies? What is the limit of our intellectual and psychic capacity? Where do we begin to meet mental limits? I am certain that we all have far more capacity than we can possibly understand and our limits are just that, our own imaginations. I know because I’ve played on those edges, and I’ve been witness to thousands of people doing more than they thought imaginable.

 

The going beyond – some is possible because of sheer willpower, another is because of doing something that matters, and sometimes it’s simply never been tried.  Beyond that is just surrendering to the moment. And then there’s Grace, and allowing things to happen, getting out of our own way. To put it another in a bumper sticker form – “Let Go and Let God” (in whatever form God means to you).

 

My perspective comes primarily from several decades of being involved with ultra-endurance sports. Cycling events that last 12, 18, 36 hours and longer; running events that are multiple stages; adventure races that span a week. I’ve been a race and participant, event organizer, race director, volunteer, coach, and trainer. I know the realms of endurance and edges and pushing farther as well as anyone.

 

When we go to edges, we go to the unknown. We can see the horizon, but to go beyond the horizon that is something else. Do we stay in what we see and know, or do we try something new, something unknown?

 

For the past several years my favorite yoga classes, primarily taught by Kelly Larson, Kirsten Warner, and Sofia Diaz, have been very hard for me to describe and put in words. They are not the flow of vinyasa, they are not the 26 pose sequence of Bikram, they are not prop-based Iyengar, they are not the quiet of yin. They have elements of Hatha Yoga, but that’s only a start. We use familiar poses, and there is always something new. In these classes we often hold poses for a longer period of time, sometimes minutes. Some of them are more traditional poses, some are ones I’m never done in any other class, some are from the Qi Gong tradition. Many of them generate a lot of heat, most give the muscles a good burn!

The teachers and the poses draw on our devotion and inspiration to shine as who we are.

 

While we hold these poses, I often hear the idea that ‘the yoga’ begins when you want out of the pose. When doing ultra-endurance sports, you inevitably reach a point during a race or a ride where you wonder ‘What the hell am I doing here? Why?’ That’s when everything changes.

 

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was during a race when I reached that point of quitting, my coach said ‘just one more mile and then you can stop.’ It was the fall of 1997 and I was racing the Furnace Creek 508, a nonstop 500 mile bike race through Death Valley. The race did not start well for me. About 14 hours into the race I was riding at night on an uphill in front my support vehicle when I just stopped in the middle of the road and hung my head. My coach was in the support van as part of my crew, so he came out and asked what was wrong. I said I was done – done with cycling, done with endurance sports, I was ready to quit and go home. His reply was simple: ‘ok, that’s fine. Just ride another mile first’. I was far too tired and out of it to argue, so I continued. A mile later apparently I had forgotten what was so important just a few minutes earlier. (I did finish the race.)

 

In a similar way during these yoga classes, the teachers know the thoughts are mounting to want to move out of the pose. The teachers invite us to take one more breath, to hold for just one more second. To remain in the heat, to feel the burn. To relax and surrender into it, and do it for something that matters. In that same instant of wanting to release from the posture you are stepping into the edge, breathing into the unknown, a place you’ve never been before. Reaching into the unknown is an element of the power of it, it is also the grace of it, and it’s a place we often move with fear.

 

Hardly anyone begins down the path of ultra-endurance sports with the idea of going far in mind. Most start small and make incremental steps. At some point most people reach there desired goal, and in fact don’t know there’s more.  And there are the handful who continue on. Of course no one tells you what you’re really in for – edges, transformation, discovering your power, surrender into the moment, finding the unknown – all in a relatively subtle, and yet fully lived, reality of the sport and the moments.

 

These yoga classes I love so much have a similar feel. It’s not a place to start for most and no one is deliberately aiming for them, but once you do one you’ll know if it calls to you. It’s difficult to describe what actually happens and why I keep going, though somehow I may have just given it a feel.

 

Almost everyone I know who has embarked down the course of these yoga classes or ultra-endurance sports is immensely enriched in spirit, in personality, in their being by their experience.

 

This is a rare piece that is cathartic in its own way for me, as I find a piece of why I’m drawn in. In that same recognition, I appreciate why some people dip their toe in and find other pursuits.

 

I’m drawn to the edges, to the unknown. As I’m sure I will always be.

The horizon is but a line to be crossed, not a limit to be reached. Hope to see you on the other side of the horizon.

 

Tensegrity - the Good Side of Stress

Such a fantastic word – Tensegrity. It’s a relatively new word in the English language coming into existence because of Buckminster Fuller less than 50 years ago. It is a combination of the words Tension and Integrity.

 

The formal definition from Merriam Webster is this: the property of a skeletal structure having continuous tension members (such as wires) and discontinuous compression members (such as metal tubes) so that each member performs efficiently in producing a rigid form.

 

The idea needs a picture first:

 

In this picture the purple rods represent the compression members from the definition and form part of the integrity; the wires are the tension members. Both parts are needed, if any part is missing the entire structure will collapse. The term started out began as a design concept for building and moved into the realm of architecture. There are dozens of structures around the world that incorporate this design.

 

This idea also moved into the realm of biology and the makeup of human biology and onto bodywork. You see, we as human bodies are also tensegrity structures. Our bones are the compression members (the solid pieces) and our muscles are the ‘wires’ or tension members. We are different from the static structures as well because we move. Tensegrity structures like the one pictured above can move, in a limited way, and the entire system holds together.

 

For us as humans to move we have parallel ‘wires’ or muscles around the bones. On the front side of the femur, the long bone at the top of our legs, are the quadriceps muscles and on the back are the hamstrings muscles. Similarly in the upper arm we have biceps on one side and triceps on the other side. There’s a similar pattern throughout the body, and more to account for all our different rotations and axes of movement.

 

For those muscles to work properly they need to be under stress, that is have a load on them. When you grab your favorite beer and bring it from the table to your mouth, you place a load on your biceps muscles. Without that bit of stress the muscles wouldn’t work. Under most normal circumstances, the muscles have a balanced amount of stress which keeps them static. When we start to move, one muscle has to activate and move direction, while the other muscle relaxes to facilitate the movement; and then it reverses.

 

Astronauts who go into space for extended periods of time know how important stress is, even the stress of gravity. After being in space, the muscles atrophy because they don’t need to be used in the same way. The bones also deteriorate as well because they don’t need to be used in the same way. The normal stress of gravity isn’t there so our structure built to work because of gravity changes and adapts.

 

If we didn’t do anything and were couch-potatoes a similar thing would happen, where muscles and bones would atrophy and become weak because they weren’t being used. So we walk and our normal things. And we exercise – which helps to support the muscles and feels good. Certainly pushing it too far and we tax the system too far.

 

So enjoy your muscles and bones and the wonder of the human body. And Bless that bit of Stress that’s needed to keep us as beautiful Tensegrity structures!

 

The Secret Life of ... You

This past weekend I watched the movie “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.” To give a quick summary, without giving away any details, Walter Mitty is responsible for the negatives from film cameras at Life Magazine. For the last print edition of Life Magazine, he needs to find the negative which will be the cover photo. In pursuit of negative #25, Mitty embarks on a series of adventures that are far of his normal character and life.

 

Or at least there’s enough in the movie to make it seem that these adventures are out of character – or are they really?

 

We all have secret lives. It’s not so much that we keep what we do a secret, but most people don’t know about what we really do. After all, how can we ever describe all our adventures and what they really mean, or what it was really like. For some, even, these adventures just become part of life; they don’t seem like adventures to us, they are just what we do.

 

As part of the movie, Mitty is on the eHarmony dating site and the representatives from the site are trying to fill out his adventures and life. Mitty is a quiet character so entire trip becomes a single sentence. His big adventure into Pakistan and the Himalayas comes down to ‘hiking in the Himalayas’ in text format, but the vivid experience he had was far more than that, and had a far greater impact on his life.

 

In my life, I’ve had dozens of adventures both at home and when traveling. On a riverboat on the Amazon River, running in Tanzania, a five-day trip to Australia to meet a woman, cycling under a full moon in France – and so many more. Each one is a full tale itself – the preparation, the people, the environment, the mystery, the adventure, what it meant. Yet each one became a few words in a sentence.

 

A few people know some details about Mitty’s adventures, and a few people know some details about some of my adventures. I’m sure the same is true of you.

The details aren’t the point though. As you watch Mitty, you do see a change in who he is, how he walks, how he carries himself. The adventure is part of the journey into fullness. That’s the same for me. What kind of adventures have you had? What are the details you remember and would want to share? Most importantly – how are you different because of that? What is your secret life and what does it reveal?              

50 Feet to Letting Go

Around Boulder, CO, there is a joke that garages aren’t for cars. We have so many toys – bikes, kayaks, camping gear, and more – that it all goes in the garage, and hence the car remains outside. As a seven year resident of Boulder, I happen to fall into that category where my car has never been in a garage, until recently. My garage would get filled with bikes and some storage, and become a workshop. If I had arranged everything well, I could fit my car in, but it would be tight, and it really wasn’t worth it.

About a year ago I moved into a house that had a huge garage with tons of extra space. Enough that I could store everything AND get my car in! I was thrilled about the idea that in the summer I wouldn’t wake up with a very hot car, and in the winter I wouldn’t have to scrape snow and ice off! That there was still plenty of room for bikes and tools and room to move around.

The garage though was not attached to the house. Between the garage and the house was about a dozen steps and a long walkway, so perhaps 50 feet from the garage to the front door. Upon leaving the garage, either I could walk out the side door where the garage door openers naturally are – or walk out the actual garage door, which was far more convenient. I choose the latter. What this meant was that I could use the garage door opener that was velcroed to the wall in the entry way. That all sounds so convenient and easy.

Yet for most of the first six months I lived in the house, I would very frequently FORGOT to close the garage door when I came into the house. Later on in the evening I’d have a thought – did I close the garage door, and then I’d walk outside to check. Sure enough, it was open. Now I wasn’t worried about stuff being stolen because I was quite far from town and the neighborhood was very safe. I was worried about bears and other critters getting into the garage, so it really was important to close the garage door.

I started reminding myself when I walked out the garage door to close it when I arrived at the front door. Occasionally this worked, meaning maybe a quarter of the time. So the reminders became stronger and stronger. My housemate would also forget so for a while we even had notes in the front to remind us to close the garage door! And finally after about eight months of doing this it became automatic to walk into the house and close the garage door. It actually became so automatic that I would forgot that I even did it, and then would later have a thought – did I close the garage door?

This whole process has been bewildering and bizarre. Between the garage door and the front door, about 50 feet, how could I forget something so simple so often? You know the Buddhist saying – chop wood to chop wood, carry water to carry water. I thought remembering could be that focused. But in that 50 feet I have to concentrate on steps, what I’m carrying, getting out keys for the front door, and ultimately amusement at seeing my dog smiling and wagging her tail as I approached the glass front door. It’s easy to see how I could forgot, but still!  

At the same time I felt great beauty and ease in that forgetting. Letting go of something so easily. It had importance and it didn’t. Like seeing a flower, taking in its beauty and then flowing to the next moment and the beauty there.

For me, it also brought up the question, why it is we can’t forget other things that easily. Like when I’m scared to bits by a lightning strike so close that it shakes the house, or the person who cut me off in the car earlier in the day, or the unjustified comment at work. I can hang on to those for hours, or days, … or longer, as we do. It’s fairly certain that those things have more meaning (meaning we give them) and with that an emotional context, and so the body and mind hang on.

The question is there though – could we learn to let go? Maybe not to forget, but to let go so it doesn’t became a lingering gremlin. Maybe it really is the count to 10 method, or the the idea of just breathe, or any number of similar concepts. It has been a great reminder for me, and maybe now for you.

Just 50 feet … a small distance measured in time or space – to bring our lives into a great ease …

Just 50 feet …

The Bunk of Positive Affirmations

Imagine that you own a home, and after being gone for a few weeks on vacation, you come home to find that several walls have mold growing on them. It doesn’t matter how much, but there’s mold. Would you just grab some paint and paint over that mold?

That’s the analogy to start with for thinking about positive affirmations. Positive affirmations can be just like putting a cover coat over all those negative thoughts or ideas that you continue to have.

If you leave the paint long enough, the paint will wear off and the mold will continue to grow again. You can take it another direction and every year lay over a new coat of paint. But you know what – that mold is STILL there. It’s still growing and affecting the environment and sooner or later it’s going to have a real effect.

You can do the same with positive affirmations. Use them for a while and then forget and the old patterns come back. Or keep practicing and adding new ones. But you know what – those old thoughts are STILL there.  They are still under the surface, and just like instincts, sooner or later they will come back out in a moment of stress or tiredness or pressure.

Let me back up a little – I’ve NOT saying positive affirmations, or any similar behavioral change is not effective or useful. They can be incredibly useful and empowering. What I want to you to understand is that unless you clean up and address the underlying state of affairs – the mold in the paint analogy – the old stuff is still there, and will come back.

What do I mean by underlying state of affairs? I’m talking about beliefs, patterns, values, ideals, promises, rules that you have committed to throughout your life. In all likelihood you have consciously forgotten most of these. They are still part of your memory and your body awareness. Here’s an example – think of that time in third grade when you were embarrassed in front of your classmates and you swore you’d never do anything to look stupid again. Maybe you didn’t say it out loud, but somewhere in your being you said it. And it stuck, it became part of your bodily and cellular makeup.

Now I hate computer analogies, but think of those beliefs or rules, etc., like a virus on your computer. It can be fairly innocuous, but it’s still there. You’d never knowingly leave a virus on your computer. I’m also sure you’d never knowingly keep around a rule for yourself that is like that mold. The clue here is knowingly – you don’t consciously know you are following those rules.

Still, if you are using positive affirmations, you have a desire for your life to be different in some way, even better. The question is, how much does it matter to you? Finding and addressing those rules, promises, values, etc takes courage. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s hard. And it takes time.

So how do you address those beliefs, ideas, patterns, and more? There are many ways and any deeper discussion is way beyond this article, but here are some techniques, clues and ideas to research and look into. Natural Linguistic Processing (NLP), cellular memory and cellular healing (books: Biology or Belief, and Molecules of Emotion), Somatic Therapies including Hakomi, Cranial Sacral Therapy, The Journey, NeuroSculpting. An especially important idea is Forgiveness (book: Forgive for Good). There are many, many more, but these are the ones I’ve worked with and found to be especially effective.

Working with positive affirmations is good, but he question stands – how much does it really matter to you? The idea of courage, which has roots in the word for heart, is that courage is not the absence of fear, rather the knowing that something is more important (Ambrose Redmoon). What is it that’s important that you are willing to move towards?

The Privileged Language

My first trip overseas to a non-English speaking country was fifteen years ago. I arrived at the Geneva airport for a trip into the Swiss Alps. Now I knew a little about Geneva including that it was an international center for business and politics, and that it sits near both Germany and France. On the airport signs I expected to find a mix of German and French. I was living in Seattle at the time and the Seattle airport had multiple languages on most signs, so I figured this would be true elsewhere. Upon landing and walking through the airport, I was astonished to find that the primary language on almost every sign was English! So maybe this was more of an international city than I had expected.

 

I've since traveled to 6 continents and 20 countries. Amazingly almost every airport I've been to has English on the signs. This includes Peru, India, Nepal, Tanzania, Costa Rica. So Geneva was the center of international commerce, but I truly didn't expect to see English in India, or Nepal, or Tanzania.

 

The same goes for almost every airplane I've been on! The announcements are first spoken in the native language, and then spoken in English as well. I remember on Ethiopian airlines traveling within Africa, English was used for the first set of announcements, then Ethiopian!

 

Alright, so airports are centers where many people traverse through.

 

Now my trips are often into remote areas - the Kilimanjaro area, the inner reaches of Peru, far north Vietnam, the Cambodian templates, the remote trails of the Himalayas. But I've also been to the mountains of France and Switzerland, Chile, and more. So there is a full contrast of areas with minimal modern conveniences with little or no electricity, and areas that are completely modern. Still - most of these places have English on signs! My most recent trip was on the Manaslu Circuit around Mt. Manaslu in Nepal. Every trail marker was in English! Every little village I came to had signs in English! Every menu for the little cafes was in English! In Tanzania, around Mt. Kilimanjaro, the road signs are in English!

 

No matter where I go, I continue to be absolutely amazed at the prevalence of the English language. This includes the signs - AND it includes the number of people who speak some English.

 

English in the primary language in only a handful of countries - mostly English colonies at one point or another. The United Kingdom, United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand. That means about 5-7% of the world population has English as a primary language. And still another 25-30% of the world can speak English. English isn't an old language, modern English is only several hundred years old, and still it's one of the newer languages spoken.

 

There's no doubt the financial and political influence of the U.S. and English speaking countries is immense, and still I'm amazed.

 

Living in the U.S. and being an American truly is a privilege. I hope those of us who speak English never forgot or misuse that privilege.