Tuesday, February 19, 2013

The Only One

As I’ve been to more yoga practices in the past three months, I’ve come upon a curious situation. In about a third of the classes I’ve gone to, I’m the only man present!

For my work with computers, it’s entirely the opposite. In the office I’m in, it’s more than 90% men. In fact most of my life at work has been like that. I’ve had the experience of being in environments that are mostly women, but it’s unusual. At one point for a year I was a manager with six women reporting to me, so I am familiar with some of the energies and dynamics – but with yoga it’s different.

There are many things striking me about the unusual nature of being the only man in a yoga practice.

For me, it’s been an opportunity to feel my own energy and being in relation to such a potent, focused feminine energy. As the solo-man thing has happened more and more, I am noticing different aspects. There’s the question of what is my energy right now. Another question of what do I want my energy to be. Then the feeling and question of what’s the energy in the room like. And how do I relate to that energy, or fit it the energy, or sit in that energy, or even bump up against that energy. It’s different every time.

I remember when this really started to become a curiosity for me, and then reflecting back on what I had naturally felt and done. The practice was a small one, 7 of us total including the teacher. I felt my energy as being good, but not deeply seated as it sometimes is. I began to wonder about how did I want it to feel and I sensed I wanted to bring forth more of my energy. As I started to do so, I could feel my energy bumping into and even somewhat being resisted by the energy from the women in the room. So I felt that energy and while it wasn’t forceful it had a beautiful, soft, comforting, and even deep, rhythm to it that didn’t want to be disturbed. Then I just melted into that energy and what a difference that made as the class flowed so well in that space.

I’ve also noticed that where I am physically with the room can make a difference as well. If I’m in or very near the middle, it’s much easier to be in a masculine type energy and hold the space with the feminine around me. If I’m on the edge, it’s easy for me to be on the edge – noticing the fuzzy boundaries and holding my place while not being pushed out of the container. Other areas feel more challenging as I’m not quick sure where to land between the center or the edge, and in some of those cases, as in the above class, I just melt in.

I notice when a man or masculine energy isn’t really expected or wanted. As if the class has a general tendency towards all women, and then unexpectedly a man is there. I also notice the opposite, when there’s a welcoming sense to having a man present.

It’s a bit like being a minority. I’ve been in foreign countries where being white is certainly a minority – Vietnam, Tanzania, Peru. I know I stand out, and yet I don’t recall feeling as much of a difference in those situations as I do in a yoga class as the only man. Maybe it’s the concentrated, engaged energy, maybe it’s the small space. Maybe I really do stand out that much.

It’s a space for me to play. To know my strengths and energies – and the differences. To know when I’m strong and can meet a roomful of women. To know when to be a graceful man in a field of feminine. When and how to hold a boundary or maybe resist, or to join what’s arising, or to contain and hold. It’s a fun exploration I’ll continue to play with as the only one!

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