An Experiment

My art reveals itself in many forms – running, food, software. Unusual ideas in most realms for sure. Within traditional ideas of art, my most eloquent form is writing. That which you are reading now, and may return to again and again, or not.

They say much of the world’s great art, whether it’s painting or writing, comes from the immeasurable moods, particularly the depressive ones, of the artist. Hemingway, Van Gogh, and others. To find your depth of humanity and connection to the rest of earthly bipeds within the dark shadows is a feat unto itself. We’ve all been there, but most of us ignore it, or even moreso escape it – drugs, alcohol, or any number of methods.

From my frame of mind, it’s amazing to me that this dark place can draw so much into existence on a canvas, whether expressed with sounds, colors, or words. While I don’t follow the path of distraction within those dark places, I don’t seem to know that place artists draw from.

Within my world, my best comes from a different place. It’s that same profound center of the soul we find, but sparked in light, in love.  The condition Rumi or Hafiz found themselves in when putting to voice, and word, a richness of the beauty of life.

This piece is an experiment in that. When I write, it’s from a place of clarity and inspiration. An idea percolated over time, and then expressed in a flow. I’m not in that place – I’m lost in another terrain. One of swirling energies, streaks of color flowing across my being. Up and down my spine, big whooshes through my heart, charges of power in my belly, tingles circling the groin – streaking to another. A coincidence of momentum and reflection shared with a partner miles away. Focus and clarity are nowhere to be found.

If Van Gogh could paint within his misery and Rumi could write in his ecstasy, could I do it? What would spring forth? Letting the inspiration and vitalities within and across space be the muse. What would it say?

The world is ablaze with wonder. A roaring sunrise, trees raining abundance, animals inspiring curiosity – and connections of all kinds breathing us. A steady flow of in and out, like air into the lungs. Into the soul and heart and body, circulating like the oceans within us. Rolling about, waves caressing here and there, or crashing into walls. Then like a great release, it all changes again, moving outward.

We only need to be aware. Feeling with our amazing senses that guide us in this world. Letting each sensation blossom, revealing itself as another follows after. Opening to be seen. Even more is to tune into another set of energies. Subtle energies. The seven discs that spin and connect. Nerve flows and rhythms of their own. Kundalini dynamics. The rise and fall of each breath and all its nuances. Goosebumps and tingles seemingly from another world. And more.

Beyond our own being is the richness of the connection between beings. Friends, lovers, family. The animals we hold dear. Plants that offer us shade, others that provide nourishment or medicine, some grace us with their beauty. So many ways to bond. The combinatorics grow quickly, revealing its own menu of possibility to feel. Not just to feel – to revel in. To discover bliss and joy.

The threads to a lover are of another style and form. Imagine two suns shining on each other. So many hues and flavors. An ecstatic reverie gales the body and heart and more. Harmonies find each other as they are meant to. Synchronistic waves entrain upon each other. Each being magnifying arriving life before mirroring and returning them, heightening body bliss – leaving the mind, thoughts, and focus elsewhere, maybe to return at another time.

Awareness. Sensitivity. Gifts everyone has, but few truly enjoy at this realm. Practice, listen, look, observe, feel. There’s more to this world than meets the senses!

An experiment. Revealing in its own. A muse of the self of the world reflecting back for all. Praise be to the artists who thrive from the dark. For my side, I’ll dive into the dark wholly. Then return and rise to share the grace and beauty of effortless imaginations of divine realms.

 

Men: Learn How to Touch

They say a woman will know a lot about a potential partner from the first kiss. Maybe it’s true, maybe not, I won’t argue over a few moments to predict the future. In a similar way, I would posture the idea that a woman will absolutely know what intimate relationships and sex might be like from how you touch her.

 

How you ever been in a group where you’re given the instruction to do a massage circle? You know – stand in a circle, turn to the right, put your hands on the shoulders of the person in front of you, and begin massaging. At the onset there is great anticipation and potential delight for being touched and massaged.

 

And then the person behind you begins. You feel their fingers digging it to odd places. You think – what the hell are they doing? Or maybe they barely make it through your clothing and you are bored with the massage circle, waiting for when the instruction is given to turn the other way and hope the other person knows what they are doing.

 

Then one day in one of those circles, it’s just right. The right pressure, the right spot, the right movement and you’ve let go, almost forgetting that you’re supposed to be massing the person in front of you.

 

It’s like Goldilocks and the porridge – not too hot, not too cold, but JUST right!

 

Touch is absolutely that way, and learning how to touch in that way will change your world of touch, for you and your partner.

 

To backtrack for a bit, this article was inspired by this story:

 

Karla – not her real name to protect the innocent (though she’s not that innocent :) - and I had a developing friendship. Our energies matched well so the potential for a deeper, more intimate relationship was there. Yet timing and spirit and guides were speaking this wasn’t the time. We both needed a vacation so we took a trip together. With each of us being comfortable with the other, we slept together and cuddled enjoying touch and presence and energy. I am very fond of touch – giving and receiving – so one morning I began gently massaging Karla. There was no intention towards anything more. Yet, the touch was received deliciously and naturally grew to some amazing love making.

 

I was convinced that because of the quality of my touch, Karla became open to more. Indeed after sharing with Karla, she said that was definitely true. Looking back at past relationships, I’m would believe that’s true with many women, the qualities of my touch and how I touch made a big difference in our interactions.

 

These ideas here come with my background as being trained as a massage therapist. In that training I received hundreds of hours of instruction; I’ve also received hundreds of hours of bodywork. It’s from this I draw knowledge for putting this into practice anytime I touch someone, whether it’s for bodywork, or a massage circle, or intimate touch with a partner.

 

Just right – what does that mean? First, just right is about what’s right for the person receiving, NOT what you like. If you’re a big muscled man, getting into those muscles most likely means elbows and lots of pressure. Imagine doing that with a small woman, like a gymnast. She’s going to jump up and be gone.

 

This is the key – just right. You can do it, so let me explain how to get there.

 

First, get out of your head. To say it another way – stop thinking. Your brain isn’t going to know what the other person likes or wants at all. You could ask, but asking every step of the way would be annoying for both of you. Asking can be a start, but mostly you have to listen and feel. When you listen and feel (and stop using your brain), you become present to the moment, to the person. It’s somewhat like meditating, or being ‘in the zone’ in sports, or being entirely engrossed in a hobby or a job. You are just there in it, with it. Start there.

 

Now place your hands on someone – maybe a partner, maybe a friend to practice with. Just feel their body, feel the skin, feel the muscles under the skin, feel the bones and jones. Explore slowly is another way to think about this. One way to start is to ask in your mind to this body, ‘what would you like to feel here?’ You might get an answer – just a caress, or a strong thumb. Your hands and body might just starting moving in response.

 

Other way is to gently press, softly first. See how the body receiving likes it. Does it want more? Does it want less? Does it want you to move to another spot? Maybe that spot doesn’t like being touched. Follow with what you’re being told.

 

Try many different spots on the body. Try the arms, try the legs. Almost everyone likes hands and feet. Try the head and face, many people like ears.

 

The qualities that you are discovering are pressure or depth (how hard to press), speed (how fast/slow to move), and how much (use a finger, or a hand, or a whole arm).

 

Another form of ‘just right’ is what you like to give (not receive). If you like gently long caressed down the back, do it. Do it with intention and joy. It may not be something your partner likes the best, but they will like that you like it, and they will like that you are expressing yourself.

 

As you play with this notice how as you move from one part to another, each part way have its own desired touch. For example, if you’re touching a leg and there’s a big bruise there. If you’re pressing firmly into the quad muscles above it, you probably don’t want to press that firmly into the bruise. The person you’re massaging is going to jump and scream – and possibly return their own tough touch!

 

The idea that each part of the body wants and needs a different kind of touch is important. It’s part of the ‘just right’ idea. Just right for the legs is different from just right for the arms.

 

The whole process of touch is about ‘just right’ and being aware of what ‘just right’ is for this moment and this part of the body. And know as well that what’s ‘just right’ for right now at this spot may be different in ten minutes.

 

I would also highly recommend an introductory massage class. There are hundreds of massage schools around the country. Many will have introductory classes. These classes are for people who want to learn how to massage, and you will probably find many people who are considering massage for a career and want to learn more. These are a valuable starting point as well.

 

Or receive a massage. Visit several different people. Notice what they do, what techniques they use, how they use them, when they use them, how do they move. Experienced massage therapists and bodyworks will have a lot of tools, not all of which you should try to begin with.

 

When you are aware of that level, the people you are with, and since this is about men and relationships – your partner – will be much more comfortable with you and your attention to them. Enjoy your new skills and openness to touch!

 

The Beach

We sat on the beach

She and I

My arms extended back to brace me

She relaxed back

Revealing another talent as a serve as a

Beach chair

Each sense mesmerized with the landscape

We watch the waves of the other great pond

Kiss the sand and rocks

Some are smashing lipsmackers

Others are rolling beauty

Each has a sound all its own

Within the cacophony of many waves

The air is crisp and cool

A soft evening breeze cools us

After a hot day

All that’s left of the sun

Are a crown of rays peeking behind

The skyline of mountains and clouds

Pink and orange hues span east to west

And recede towards the west

Leaving only blacks, whites, and grey

Soon our suns sisters and brothers will have their turn to shine

As much as the physical senses are full on

In pleasure and noticing

They are only a part of the grandeur of the setting

Moved by the inspired feminine relaxed back

Feeling the rich masculine of support

In awe of the watery fathomless blueness

Laid open before us

Oddly enough holding its own earthiness

And grounding in its natural fluidity

Grateful for the moment and opportunity

In pure wonderment of life

Feeling fully present and aware

Knowing this will be a memory in a moment

The energy of this will live

Even a remembrance won’t find the details

The memory does not matter

We relish this sweetness and let it go

Into the breeze

It may find us again

Or it may not

Should it reveal itself again

It won’t be through adoration for nostalgia

We will know the way it lives us still

Hair

Hair

 

As she gently folds her head to the right

she pulled her Long hair from beyond her

letting it Drape over the left side of her body

 

within her hand her Crystal brush

gently closing her eyes

she begins her Ritual of brushing her hair

 

she allowed me to watch

i sat Silent,  transfixed

like watching Art in Motion

 still life in each moment

 

her Wildly red hair set off

against an ocean blue Silk

and the white and crystal brush

 

with Clear intention and patience

she firmly and Delicately guides

her brush through shiny Hair

 

first the Ends, releasing the tangles

from a day of Breeze

and a night of turning

 

sturdier knots require hands

with the Delicacy of a knitter

each strand finds its Perfect order

 

occasionally i hear

a soft Sigh of pleasure

Liberated through her lips

pure Punctuation on the bliss

 

Floating her hair to her back

her neck rotates Easily to the other side

to sort out the other side

 

with the same beauty and grace

the brush is guided

letting each hair have its Freedom

 

i marvel at the ease

a rich pattern Anew each time

a Meditation done a thousand times

a Mudra all its own

 

 

now the hair is all pushed back

with eyes still closed

the Quiet face rests back at center

 

opening her neck

her soft fingers ruffle the top hair

gliding all from front to back

 

it all drapes back now

One continuous flow

like a Waterfall

 

long brushstrokes start at the Crown

travel over the head

descending to the Very ends

 

her Ceremony for today

reaches its Finale

with a last Luxurious reach

 

the hair wand laid to rest for now

eyes open offering their Softness once again

Hair Dances in its own light

The Facebook Challenge - Books

The Facebook Challenge – you’ve seen them. You get named as someone to say three things that you are grateful for, or name major influences in your life. I ‘received’ my first one the other day. An unusual one I hadn’t seen before. Name 10 books that have stayed with me throughout the years.

That certainly provoked some thought in me. What books have stayed with me? I stretched my memory back to high school and couldn’t remember what I’d read. How could I find 10 books that have stayed with me that long if I can’t even remember what I read?

So maybe I don’t have to go back that far. What did I read in my 20s that have stayed with me? As I scanned my bookshelves, there is very little that goes back that far. I have a number of cook books, books on training for athletics, and a few others.

I even remember about 10 years ago doing a major purge of my books. Ones that I had read, but no longer held an interest for me. Most of the books on my bookshelf are ones from the last decade.

The only way for me to come close was to morph the question. What are the ten most influential books on my bookshelf now (including my iPad bookshelf :)?

As I started the process, I wrote down a few books. Then I came to authors and speakers. Authors whose compendium of work is brilliant. Speakers who rarely write. So it’s a mixed bag.

After browsing through my bookshelf, I had over twenty. I tried narrowing it down, but only a few exited the list. Looking over the list what I discovered is that every one of these books changed my world. Through reading them I had new insights. Through reading them I discovered a whole new world. Through reading them my ideas of the world shifted in a big way.

The result is the list of the books that have changed my world, mostly in the past decade. So here’s my list:

• Blackfoot Physics
• If the Buddha Dated
• David Whyte (author)
• Running the Spiritual Path
• Adyashanti (author)
• Yoga Beyond Belief
• Douglas Brooks (speaker)
• Ender’s Saga
• Let My People Go Surfing
• Alan Watts (author, speaker)
• The Tao of Pooh/The Te of Piglet
• Forgive for Good
• Effortless Mastery
• Healers on Healing
• Life in Motion or CranioSacral Biodynamics
• Jonathan Livingston Seagull
• The Hidden Messages in Water
• Quantum Healing, Molecules of Emotion, Energy Medicine, The Body Remembers
• Explorers of the Infinite
• Robert Fulghum (author)
• Bhagavad Gita

 

So Begins My Days

I awake with the morning light
The sun peeking over the eastern horizon
Often I wish for another hour to sleep
Sometimes I indulge the fantasy
Bury my head in the pillow
Pull blankets over my head
At attempt back to the darkness
Soon thought Emma is there
Wanting her ritual morning belly rub.
Her pleasure met, I rise out of bed
Feel the dawn muscles
Emma is ready
She’s definitely a morning dog
Smiling, wagging her tail
Her walk is next
For me it’s an easy stroll
To stir to the day
Emma is endlessly curious
Smelling everything
Ready to chase anything
I relish and commune with the rising sun
Soaking in the warmth and waves
Marveling at the blue sky
Perhaps a waning moon hangs still
An easy loop and back home
So begins my days

Speaking the Unspeakable

So often words are meaningless

when it comes to truth,

or love

 

They can offer a glimpse

Into the heart

And then fall woefully short

 

The grief of losing

A loved one

 

Awe and wonder

At life

 

So few can do it well

Still their words

The words

Of poets

and sages

angels of all kinds

 

They are infused

with the spirit

of the universe

 

To read them

to see them

 

Really

is to feel them

with all the senses

 

So that you too

become what has

always

been

Letting Poetry Come

How to express in words

when so often

words can’t begin

to convey

truth

 

Poetry

and prose

are often revealers

 

Where the words

and the space between

have roles reversed

 

Words offering an insight

an invitation into

another world

 

The world of spaces

is

where real meaning

reveals itself

 

The next time words

fall flat

let poetry

be the guide

 

Write the invitation

let the rest

be felt

 

Edges, Yoga and The Unknown

 I am fascinated by edges, by what’s possible in this human form. How far can we push our bodies? What is the limit of our intellectual and psychic capacity? Where do we begin to meet mental limits? I am certain that we all have far more capacity than we can possibly understand and our limits are just that, our own imaginations. I know because I’ve played on those edges, and I’ve been witness to thousands of people doing more than they thought imaginable.

 

The going beyond – some is possible because of sheer willpower, another is because of doing something that matters, and sometimes it’s simply never been tried.  Beyond that is just surrendering to the moment. And then there’s Grace, and allowing things to happen, getting out of our own way. To put it another in a bumper sticker form – “Let Go and Let God” (in whatever form God means to you).

 

My perspective comes primarily from several decades of being involved with ultra-endurance sports. Cycling events that last 12, 18, 36 hours and longer; running events that are multiple stages; adventure races that span a week. I’ve been a race and participant, event organizer, race director, volunteer, coach, and trainer. I know the realms of endurance and edges and pushing farther as well as anyone.

 

When we go to edges, we go to the unknown. We can see the horizon, but to go beyond the horizon that is something else. Do we stay in what we see and know, or do we try something new, something unknown?

 

For the past several years my favorite yoga classes, primarily taught by Kelly Larson, Kirsten Warner, and Sofia Diaz, have been very hard for me to describe and put in words. They are not the flow of vinyasa, they are not the 26 pose sequence of Bikram, they are not prop-based Iyengar, they are not the quiet of yin. They have elements of Hatha Yoga, but that’s only a start. We use familiar poses, and there is always something new. In these classes we often hold poses for a longer period of time, sometimes minutes. Some of them are more traditional poses, some are ones I’m never done in any other class, some are from the Qi Gong tradition. Many of them generate a lot of heat, most give the muscles a good burn!

The teachers and the poses draw on our devotion and inspiration to shine as who we are.

 

While we hold these poses, I often hear the idea that ‘the yoga’ begins when you want out of the pose. When doing ultra-endurance sports, you inevitably reach a point during a race or a ride where you wonder ‘What the hell am I doing here? Why?’ That’s when everything changes.

 

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was during a race when I reached that point of quitting, my coach said ‘just one more mile and then you can stop.’ It was the fall of 1997 and I was racing the Furnace Creek 508, a nonstop 500 mile bike race through Death Valley. The race did not start well for me. About 14 hours into the race I was riding at night on an uphill in front my support vehicle when I just stopped in the middle of the road and hung my head. My coach was in the support van as part of my crew, so he came out and asked what was wrong. I said I was done – done with cycling, done with endurance sports, I was ready to quit and go home. His reply was simple: ‘ok, that’s fine. Just ride another mile first’. I was far too tired and out of it to argue, so I continued. A mile later apparently I had forgotten what was so important just a few minutes earlier. (I did finish the race.)

 

In a similar way during these yoga classes, the teachers know the thoughts are mounting to want to move out of the pose. The teachers invite us to take one more breath, to hold for just one more second. To remain in the heat, to feel the burn. To relax and surrender into it, and do it for something that matters. In that same instant of wanting to release from the posture you are stepping into the edge, breathing into the unknown, a place you’ve never been before. Reaching into the unknown is an element of the power of it, it is also the grace of it, and it’s a place we often move with fear.

 

Hardly anyone begins down the path of ultra-endurance sports with the idea of going far in mind. Most start small and make incremental steps. At some point most people reach there desired goal, and in fact don’t know there’s more.  And there are the handful who continue on. Of course no one tells you what you’re really in for – edges, transformation, discovering your power, surrender into the moment, finding the unknown – all in a relatively subtle, and yet fully lived, reality of the sport and the moments.

 

These yoga classes I love so much have a similar feel. It’s not a place to start for most and no one is deliberately aiming for them, but once you do one you’ll know if it calls to you. It’s difficult to describe what actually happens and why I keep going, though somehow I may have just given it a feel.

 

Almost everyone I know who has embarked down the course of these yoga classes or ultra-endurance sports is immensely enriched in spirit, in personality, in their being by their experience.

 

This is a rare piece that is cathartic in its own way for me, as I find a piece of why I’m drawn in. In that same recognition, I appreciate why some people dip their toe in and find other pursuits.

 

I’m drawn to the edges, to the unknown. As I’m sure I will always be.

The horizon is but a line to be crossed, not a limit to be reached. Hope to see you on the other side of the horizon.

 

Tensegrity - the Good Side of Stress

Such a fantastic word – Tensegrity. It’s a relatively new word in the English language coming into existence because of Buckminster Fuller less than 50 years ago. It is a combination of the words Tension and Integrity.

 

The formal definition from Merriam Webster is this: the property of a skeletal structure having continuous tension members (such as wires) and discontinuous compression members (such as metal tubes) so that each member performs efficiently in producing a rigid form.

 

The idea needs a picture first:

 

In this picture the purple rods represent the compression members from the definition and form part of the integrity; the wires are the tension members. Both parts are needed, if any part is missing the entire structure will collapse. The term started out began as a design concept for building and moved into the realm of architecture. There are dozens of structures around the world that incorporate this design.

 

This idea also moved into the realm of biology and the makeup of human biology and onto bodywork. You see, we as human bodies are also tensegrity structures. Our bones are the compression members (the solid pieces) and our muscles are the ‘wires’ or tension members. We are different from the static structures as well because we move. Tensegrity structures like the one pictured above can move, in a limited way, and the entire system holds together.

 

For us as humans to move we have parallel ‘wires’ or muscles around the bones. On the front side of the femur, the long bone at the top of our legs, are the quadriceps muscles and on the back are the hamstrings muscles. Similarly in the upper arm we have biceps on one side and triceps on the other side. There’s a similar pattern throughout the body, and more to account for all our different rotations and axes of movement.

 

For those muscles to work properly they need to be under stress, that is have a load on them. When you grab your favorite beer and bring it from the table to your mouth, you place a load on your biceps muscles. Without that bit of stress the muscles wouldn’t work. Under most normal circumstances, the muscles have a balanced amount of stress which keeps them static. When we start to move, one muscle has to activate and move direction, while the other muscle relaxes to facilitate the movement; and then it reverses.

 

Astronauts who go into space for extended periods of time know how important stress is, even the stress of gravity. After being in space, the muscles atrophy because they don’t need to be used in the same way. The bones also deteriorate as well because they don’t need to be used in the same way. The normal stress of gravity isn’t there so our structure built to work because of gravity changes and adapts.

 

If we didn’t do anything and were couch-potatoes a similar thing would happen, where muscles and bones would atrophy and become weak because they weren’t being used. So we walk and our normal things. And we exercise – which helps to support the muscles and feels good. Certainly pushing it too far and we tax the system too far.

 

So enjoy your muscles and bones and the wonder of the human body. And Bless that bit of Stress that’s needed to keep us as beautiful Tensegrity structures!

 

The Secret Life of ... You

This past weekend I watched the movie “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.” To give a quick summary, without giving away any details, Walter Mitty is responsible for the negatives from film cameras at Life Magazine. For the last print edition of Life Magazine, he needs to find the negative which will be the cover photo. In pursuit of negative #25, Mitty embarks on a series of adventures that are far of his normal character and life.

 

Or at least there’s enough in the movie to make it seem that these adventures are out of character – or are they really?

 

We all have secret lives. It’s not so much that we keep what we do a secret, but most people don’t know about what we really do. After all, how can we ever describe all our adventures and what they really mean, or what it was really like. For some, even, these adventures just become part of life; they don’t seem like adventures to us, they are just what we do.

 

As part of the movie, Mitty is on the eHarmony dating site and the representatives from the site are trying to fill out his adventures and life. Mitty is a quiet character so entire trip becomes a single sentence. His big adventure into Pakistan and the Himalayas comes down to ‘hiking in the Himalayas’ in text format, but the vivid experience he had was far more than that, and had a far greater impact on his life.

 

In my life, I’ve had dozens of adventures both at home and when traveling. On a riverboat on the Amazon River, running in Tanzania, a five-day trip to Australia to meet a woman, cycling under a full moon in France – and so many more. Each one is a full tale itself – the preparation, the people, the environment, the mystery, the adventure, what it meant. Yet each one became a few words in a sentence.

 

A few people know some details about Mitty’s adventures, and a few people know some details about some of my adventures. I’m sure the same is true of you.

The details aren’t the point though. As you watch Mitty, you do see a change in who he is, how he walks, how he carries himself. The adventure is part of the journey into fullness. That’s the same for me. What kind of adventures have you had? What are the details you remember and would want to share? Most importantly – how are you different because of that? What is your secret life and what does it reveal?              

50 Feet to Letting Go

Around Boulder, CO, there is a joke that garages aren’t for cars. We have so many toys – bikes, kayaks, camping gear, and more – that it all goes in the garage, and hence the car remains outside. As a seven year resident of Boulder, I happen to fall into that category where my car has never been in a garage, until recently. My garage would get filled with bikes and some storage, and become a workshop. If I had arranged everything well, I could fit my car in, but it would be tight, and it really wasn’t worth it.

About a year ago I moved into a house that had a huge garage with tons of extra space. Enough that I could store everything AND get my car in! I was thrilled about the idea that in the summer I wouldn’t wake up with a very hot car, and in the winter I wouldn’t have to scrape snow and ice off! That there was still plenty of room for bikes and tools and room to move around.

The garage though was not attached to the house. Between the garage and the house was about a dozen steps and a long walkway, so perhaps 50 feet from the garage to the front door. Upon leaving the garage, either I could walk out the side door where the garage door openers naturally are – or walk out the actual garage door, which was far more convenient. I choose the latter. What this meant was that I could use the garage door opener that was velcroed to the wall in the entry way. That all sounds so convenient and easy.

Yet for most of the first six months I lived in the house, I would very frequently FORGOT to close the garage door when I came into the house. Later on in the evening I’d have a thought – did I close the garage door, and then I’d walk outside to check. Sure enough, it was open. Now I wasn’t worried about stuff being stolen because I was quite far from town and the neighborhood was very safe. I was worried about bears and other critters getting into the garage, so it really was important to close the garage door.

I started reminding myself when I walked out the garage door to close it when I arrived at the front door. Occasionally this worked, meaning maybe a quarter of the time. So the reminders became stronger and stronger. My housemate would also forget so for a while we even had notes in the front to remind us to close the garage door! And finally after about eight months of doing this it became automatic to walk into the house and close the garage door. It actually became so automatic that I would forgot that I even did it, and then would later have a thought – did I close the garage door?

This whole process has been bewildering and bizarre. Between the garage door and the front door, about 50 feet, how could I forget something so simple so often? You know the Buddhist saying – chop wood to chop wood, carry water to carry water. I thought remembering could be that focused. But in that 50 feet I have to concentrate on steps, what I’m carrying, getting out keys for the front door, and ultimately amusement at seeing my dog smiling and wagging her tail as I approached the glass front door. It’s easy to see how I could forgot, but still!  

At the same time I felt great beauty and ease in that forgetting. Letting go of something so easily. It had importance and it didn’t. Like seeing a flower, taking in its beauty and then flowing to the next moment and the beauty there.

For me, it also brought up the question, why it is we can’t forget other things that easily. Like when I’m scared to bits by a lightning strike so close that it shakes the house, or the person who cut me off in the car earlier in the day, or the unjustified comment at work. I can hang on to those for hours, or days, … or longer, as we do. It’s fairly certain that those things have more meaning (meaning we give them) and with that an emotional context, and so the body and mind hang on.

The question is there though – could we learn to let go? Maybe not to forget, but to let go so it doesn’t became a lingering gremlin. Maybe it really is the count to 10 method, or the the idea of just breathe, or any number of similar concepts. It has been a great reminder for me, and maybe now for you.

Just 50 feet … a small distance measured in time or space – to bring our lives into a great ease …

Just 50 feet …

The Bunk of Positive Affirmations

Imagine that you own a home, and after being gone for a few weeks on vacation, you come home to find that several walls have mold growing on them. It doesn’t matter how much, but there’s mold. Would you just grab some paint and paint over that mold?

That’s the analogy to start with for thinking about positive affirmations. Positive affirmations can be just like putting a cover coat over all those negative thoughts or ideas that you continue to have.

If you leave the paint long enough, the paint will wear off and the mold will continue to grow again. You can take it another direction and every year lay over a new coat of paint. But you know what – that mold is STILL there. It’s still growing and affecting the environment and sooner or later it’s going to have a real effect.

You can do the same with positive affirmations. Use them for a while and then forget and the old patterns come back. Or keep practicing and adding new ones. But you know what – those old thoughts are STILL there.  They are still under the surface, and just like instincts, sooner or later they will come back out in a moment of stress or tiredness or pressure.

Let me back up a little – I’ve NOT saying positive affirmations, or any similar behavioral change is not effective or useful. They can be incredibly useful and empowering. What I want to you to understand is that unless you clean up and address the underlying state of affairs – the mold in the paint analogy – the old stuff is still there, and will come back.

What do I mean by underlying state of affairs? I’m talking about beliefs, patterns, values, ideals, promises, rules that you have committed to throughout your life. In all likelihood you have consciously forgotten most of these. They are still part of your memory and your body awareness. Here’s an example – think of that time in third grade when you were embarrassed in front of your classmates and you swore you’d never do anything to look stupid again. Maybe you didn’t say it out loud, but somewhere in your being you said it. And it stuck, it became part of your bodily and cellular makeup.

Now I hate computer analogies, but think of those beliefs or rules, etc., like a virus on your computer. It can be fairly innocuous, but it’s still there. You’d never knowingly leave a virus on your computer. I’m also sure you’d never knowingly keep around a rule for yourself that is like that mold. The clue here is knowingly – you don’t consciously know you are following those rules.

Still, if you are using positive affirmations, you have a desire for your life to be different in some way, even better. The question is, how much does it matter to you? Finding and addressing those rules, promises, values, etc takes courage. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s hard. And it takes time.

So how do you address those beliefs, ideas, patterns, and more? There are many ways and any deeper discussion is way beyond this article, but here are some techniques, clues and ideas to research and look into. Natural Linguistic Processing (NLP), cellular memory and cellular healing (books: Biology or Belief, and Molecules of Emotion), Somatic Therapies including Hakomi, Cranial Sacral Therapy, The Journey, NeuroSculpting. An especially important idea is Forgiveness (book: Forgive for Good). There are many, many more, but these are the ones I’ve worked with and found to be especially effective.

Working with positive affirmations is good, but he question stands – how much does it really matter to you? The idea of courage, which has roots in the word for heart, is that courage is not the absence of fear, rather the knowing that something is more important (Ambrose Redmoon). What is it that’s important that you are willing to move towards?

The Privileged Language

My first trip overseas to a non-English speaking country was fifteen years ago. I arrived at the Geneva airport for a trip into the Swiss Alps. Now I knew a little about Geneva including that it was an international center for business and politics, and that it sits near both Germany and France. On the airport signs I expected to find a mix of German and French. I was living in Seattle at the time and the Seattle airport had multiple languages on most signs, so I figured this would be true elsewhere. Upon landing and walking through the airport, I was astonished to find that the primary language on almost every sign was English! So maybe this was more of an international city than I had expected.

 

I've since traveled to 6 continents and 20 countries. Amazingly almost every airport I've been to has English on the signs. This includes Peru, India, Nepal, Tanzania, Costa Rica. So Geneva was the center of international commerce, but I truly didn't expect to see English in India, or Nepal, or Tanzania.

 

The same goes for almost every airplane I've been on! The announcements are first spoken in the native language, and then spoken in English as well. I remember on Ethiopian airlines traveling within Africa, English was used for the first set of announcements, then Ethiopian!

 

Alright, so airports are centers where many people traverse through.

 

Now my trips are often into remote areas - the Kilimanjaro area, the inner reaches of Peru, far north Vietnam, the Cambodian templates, the remote trails of the Himalayas. But I've also been to the mountains of France and Switzerland, Chile, and more. So there is a full contrast of areas with minimal modern conveniences with little or no electricity, and areas that are completely modern. Still - most of these places have English on signs! My most recent trip was on the Manaslu Circuit around Mt. Manaslu in Nepal. Every trail marker was in English! Every little village I came to had signs in English! Every menu for the little cafes was in English! In Tanzania, around Mt. Kilimanjaro, the road signs are in English!

 

No matter where I go, I continue to be absolutely amazed at the prevalence of the English language. This includes the signs - AND it includes the number of people who speak some English.

 

English in the primary language in only a handful of countries - mostly English colonies at one point or another. The United Kingdom, United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand. That means about 5-7% of the world population has English as a primary language. And still another 25-30% of the world can speak English. English isn't an old language, modern English is only several hundred years old, and still it's one of the newer languages spoken.

 

There's no doubt the financial and political influence of the U.S. and English speaking countries is immense, and still I'm amazed.

 

Living in the U.S. and being an American truly is a privilege. I hope those of us who speak English never forgot or misuse that privilege.

 

About Me

The profile are of Blogger offers limited space, so here is an introduction ...

Among the many roles he plays in this life include software developer, bodyworker, athlete, yogi, and writer. He is a seer, believer, visionary, connector, healer, and artist of life. Sitting at the crossroads of the breadth and advances of science, timeless wisdom, modern technology, extreme athletics, progressive thought, and energetic health he discovers new connections and relationships while questioning it all. He regularly explores edges and perceived limits. A spirited agent provocateur graced with a foundation of deep stillness, an unshakeable peace, and a fierce passion for life; an everyday warrior guided by integrity and heart and soul who relishes the immersion in this epoch, feeling both the intensity of centuries of devastating heartaches and inspiring joys. A being developed on courageously meeting his own struggles, pains, fears, insecurities; the insight of dozens of teachers and guides; and decades of being human. He believes in the vibrancy of every being; and our ability to harness our common desire to live in a beautiful world to shift towards that dream. He lives on the principles of Service, Presence, Truth, Love, and Devotion with a whole lot of Faith thrown in.

Here are a few other posts about me and this blog!

More of my life experiences.
http://fiercewolfspeaks.blogspot.com/2012/02/more-introductions.html

Why do I write this blog!
http://fiercewolfspeaks.blogspot.com/2012/01/why.html

More about fierce and what it means to me.
http://fiercewolfspeaks.blogspot.com/2012/01/fierce.html

Questions are the Answers

During the second session of a Coaches Training Program I recently began, we held a discussion about what it means to be a coach. The leader of the training put forth the idea that coaches are guides or facilitators, and that their primary tools are to ask questions to help the client discover their own wisdom and reveal what they know to be the best answers for themselves. While I’ve never formally coached anyone, when I talk with friends and they express something they want to change, my curiosity tends to lead and what comes forth is lot of questions. I innately know this idea and wholeheartedly resonate with the idea and approach.

As happens, this idea started to have analogies elsewhere in my life as well. That is whatever I’m doing I am a ‘coach’ just helping the activity ‘answer’ itself and find its own way! It is a rather fascinating way to approach life!

Let me start with something like cooking. First there’s the question of what do I want to eat? My body knows and so I listen to some possibilities. Open the fridge and ask, what’s in the fridge? Followed by what would go well together? Soon the meal starts to develop on its own. When it comes to spices, it’s the same – open the spice cabinet and just ask, what would be good on dinner? Most of the time I am pleasantly surprised by what the result is! And without opening a cookbook, or having to think at all.

“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Considering the more personal side of self-discovery and self-growth, it is very similar. It is a plethora of questions. Sometimes the answers pop up quickly, sometimes they are incredibly clear. Other questions require time, to let the question stew and gather experiences before there is a semblance of articulation. There are times when writing helps as well. Really though what is revealed is revealed on its own, not by thinking.

Even in my career where I write software, the process is nearly identical. Our team is presented with an idea, something that needs to be written to support our products. We all begin with questions – what does it really need to do, what kind of performance is needed, how soon does it need to be finished? These do require input. Once we begin the coding it becomes a different kind of question – how do I write code, create a solution that implements the desired result. For any problem there are dozens (hundreds?, thousands?) or ways to get to the result. Most of the time, just asking the question of what the result needs to be begins the process of getting to answer. Then my fingers start to fly over the keyboard, my mouse moves across the screen – and then it begins. The code writes itself! Not entirely, but there is a large degree of truth to this.

The answers don't always come quickly, and they don't always appear as I would expect, nor are the answers themselves what I would expect - but with patience and faith, they do arrive.

Does this sound familiar? If so, great – see if you can engender this trust in the answers to reveal themselves!

If this sounds way out there – give it a try! Just ask the questions – and open up to answers. You actually probably do this and don’t realize it. When you go to a restaurant and you’re handed a menu, we scan the menu – what do I want to eat. Something usually pops out. It’s the same – let the answer pop out!

The Ring Of Truth

In the fall of 2006, I moved to Boulder from Seattle. Life had changed and turned itself upside down in ways I had never imagined, and it was time for something new and different. Somewhere in that transition I knew I wanted to discover something else, not in a way of searching, but in a way of letting whatever it was reveal itself. I wanted to discover truth, mine and that of the world, and let it discover and reveal me.

I’m not sure where the idea emerged from, but soon I was searching for a ring. My idea wasn’t unique, it’s a collective idea, and even within months of my own search, I met many people who had followed a similar journey. A ring that would represent a commitment the same way a wedding ring is a symbol of the vows between two people. I found what I was looking for and the path was set.

Committed to truth.

In my own way, perhaps mostly from the perspective of a human mind, I thought I had some idea of what truth might look like when it happened. So I followed the path, often the divergent path in the woods Frost writes of, probably even in a way he knew well. I started by believing I knew something and where I might land. But truth has other ideas. It only knows the commitment, which is in itself a truth.

As life flowed, I watched as what I thought truth was went flying by, with no stopping or pausing to consider what was next. Initially I had made a promise to truth, and I no longer knew what that meant because after passing my imaginary point, we – truth and I – kept going. I knew I had committed to truth, and now I knew I had no idea what that really meant. We had reached a pivotal point, where Truth was now just as committed to me. There was a way in which Truth was wearing me, ringing through me; as much as I would wear the ring. The nature of Truth amidst my world had changed, Truth had become its own force – with a capital ‘T’.

There is more to write here, but words about Truth and this part of the journey have escaped. Perhaps there will be a Part II of The Ring of Truth. There is so much richness to share here, but it seems it will be another time.

That promise is one of the greatest things I’ve ever done, it has brought me to where I am today, to help be more completely who I am. I had no clue about how daring or risky that idea really was, so indeed ignorance was bliss. If you take that adventure – and I highly encourage you to do so – don’t even think about courage or fear or risk or what ifs. Just do it. Life will be a whirlwind, and a roller coaster. Completely worth it in every way!

As I write this on the Solstice of 2014, reflecting back on a moment almost exactly 8 years ago that turned life upside down, I am wearing that ring again. I don’t often wear it anymore. I don’t need to – Truth and I are partners on a long journey. Tonight it feels right though. A gentle and clear reminder of the devotion to each other, a symbol of a reminder  to continue. A renewal isn’t necessary because it hasn’t been undone or obstructed. I am human though and symbols matter, so I let it be.

The Ring of Truth – I wear it, I hear it. And it adorns me and hears me. And we wander on – going “where no man has gone before”, or at least where this man hasn’t gone before.